Acatsuki
by Darkkinkachu
Summary: Sir Leader gets fed up with Akatsukis inabilaty to catch the ninetailes. He does something awful to his underlines and some how Haruno Sakura has been dragged into it...
1. Chapter 1

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: My original idea for this had Neji, Sasuke and Naruto but then I was like, 'pfft…everyone does that. What's something that hasn't been used?' and I came up with this! Tah-dah! I might still write that other one but for now I want to have some fun

Warnings: some language and dirty mindedness. Also much OOCness

Lawyer Lemur: Darkkinkachu does not own Naruto.

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It would have been funny, really. Seven grown men, all cold blooded S-class criminals, cowering before a single shadowy figure. Even Itachi was unnerved, though he didn't show it.

Sir Leader was pissed.

"Tell me what happened…_now_."

Kakuzu gulped, "w-well sir…we were taking the girl to the statue like you said. Its Hidan's fault really! He told me she was uncon-"

"What? You traitorous snake!" the silver haired man yelled, "Do not lie! It was your fault!"

"Idiot priest, I told you-"

"Shut up."

Both fell silent at the dark, angry voice, "Itachi. Kisame. Why don't we have the nine-tails yet?"

"Its vessel continues to elude us, sir." The oldest Uchiha stated calmly.

"You don't say." Leader sneered, "Zetsu. Why is there still no sign of the seven tails?"

"We've looked every where, sir." The mechanical white side of his face said, "yes, all our leads have been dead ends." His darker side hissed angrily.

"And you two…" the man in the shadows rounded on a tall blond man and a boy with a mask, "I do not even want to hear your excuses…"

Tobi, being the poor naive boy he was, thought that meant he was off the hook and straighten up happily.

"I am not happy." Leader said, pacing slowly across the room, "Not happy at all. I think I'll do something horrible to you."

There was a collective gulp and Zetsu spoke up, "Leader-sama, we are trying as hard as we can."

"Don't worry…" Sir Leader turned to the small group very slowly, an eerie grin on his face and a wicked gleam in his eyes, "this will be fun…"

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Haruno Sakura skipped towards her door, ready for another day of medical training and healing. She threw open the door, intending to leap out and start another day but something stopped her. Or rather some one.

A man, who seemed to be made of shadows, was standing in her doorway, a large box in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. Being the brilliant person Sakura is, she said the fist thing that popped into her head,

"Uhhhhh…"

"Haruno Sakura?" he asked, one eyebrow raised at her 'brilliant' remark.

"Um yes? Can I help you?" the pink haired girl considered slamming the door and jumping out the window to get away from the slightly creepy man. He held up the paper which she cautiously took.

On the paper, in big, bold font, were the words, 'odd jobs wanted! Kunoichi needs spare cash, missions are slow. Almost any job! Please see Haruno Sakura.' Her address fallowed along with some little tabs to be pulled off.

Sakura brightened considerably, "Oh! You have a job for me?"

"Yes, I need you to protect some things for me for about a week."

"Sure!" she opened the door a bit more and the man walked in, "So you want me to protect some things? Like what? Jewelry? A person? Your house?"

"Kittens." He sat the big box down in the middle of her living room.

"…I'm sorry, what?"

"I need you to watch these kittens for me. They're very _special_ kittens." Sakura wondered what was so funny about that, "I'll pay you, don't worry. And I'll give you money for the supplies."

Sakura looked down at the box then back to the man who was, oddly enough, still all shadowy even though he was standing right under a light.

_Well I do like cats…_ she thought slowly.

**_And this guy looks rich! Let's take it!_** Inner Sakura yelled with dollar signs in her eyes.

"Yosh! I'll take the job!"

"Excellent." The man smirked, pulling out a fat wallet and tossing it to her, "That's to buy supplies for them. You get your real payment when I return in about nine days." He turned and walked out of the door, "Just take good care of them. And I must warn you, when I said 'special' I meant they're little freaks." Then he was gone.

Sakura looked down at the box and grinned, "How bad could they possibly be?"

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Darkkinkachu: and…CUT! The end! No, not really but it will be if I don't get some positive reviews for this. I'm not going to start something if no ones going to read it. Just to warn you, this will probably be an 'off time fic' meaning I'll only work on it when I feel like it. Don't expect fast updates. Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: Thanks for the reviews! I already had this chapter written so I was like 'eh I'll just post it' Thanks again! –hugs for reviewers- X)

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"Ugh…my head…"

"Who's that?"

"Why's it so dark, yeah?"

"What did Sir Leader do?"

"I feel funny…"

A sudden bright light from above made seven little sets of eyes squint in pain.

"Some one turn that blasted light off!" Kakuzu snapped.

"Quit yelling, yeah! Geez, why do I feel so…so…"

"Fuzzy?" Kisame said, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. A scream made them all jump, "What? What is-"

"What has he done!?" Zetsu's dark side screeched, "Of all the punishments! How could he? AAAAAAAAAAAUUUG!!!"

"Look guys!" Tobi came bounding out of nowhere and landed on Hidans head, "We're cute little kitties!"

A moment of unbelieving silence…then…

"WHAT?! NO!"

"I CANT BE CUTE! I'M A KILLER! RAWR!"

"why did he make us so damn fluffy?"

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Sakura looked down into the box, unsure of what to do. Five of the kittens where making odd screaming sounds and running around in the box while one was curled up in a corner and the other one was looking up at her curiously.

She picked up the one that was staring at her and grinned, "Aw…what a little cutie!" it looked like the runt of the litter, with soft black fur, odd orange paws and a swirl pattern on its face.

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"Zetsu-san! Zetsu-san!" Tobi said, squirming with joy, "This girl thinks I'm cute! Tobi is a _cute_ good boy!"

This caused the others to stop and look up, "What the…Leader-sama left us with a girl, yeah?"

"This is terrible…" Hidan sobbed, "My religion condemns cute, fluffy things…"

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Sakura sat the smallest kitten down and reached in, pulling out the other black one. Its fur was a bit longer and it starred at her with creepy red eyes, "eep…you remind me of Sasuke's brother…scary lil' thing, aren't cha?" she sat it down next to the other one and pulled out the next small fluff ball.

She held up the golden blond kitten and smiled, "aw…you remind me of Ino…you two have the same hair!" _but not eyes_ she noted, looking at the cats green blue eyes. Setting him down, she drew out the biggest of the group.

This one had dark blue fur that stuck out at funny angles. It watched her with unblinking black eyes, tail twitching slightly, "Hm…that guy was right…you are pretty odd cats." The kitten bared sharp white teeth at her and she set him down, "None of that now!" she scolded.

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"Itachi-san what should we do?" Kisame asked as soon as the girl set him down.

The oldest Uchiha was silent for a moment, watching as the pink haired girl plucked Hidan from the box, "This is our punishment for failing Leader-sama. There is nothing we can do but wait for him to forgive us and change us back."

"Stop calling me cute, wench!" the silver kitten with violet eyes screeched as she set it down with the others, "Itachi we have to get out of here!"

"Silence. I just said there is nothing we can do." Itachi sat calmly, his little back tail wrapped around his paws, "This jutsu is beyond even me."

"Hey!" Tobi stopped attacking the girls shoelace for a moment, "This is like a vacation! Woo hoo! Sir Leader gave us some time off!"

The others sweatdropped.

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Sakura looked down at the kittens and grinned. It was like they were having a meeting or something, "You guys are weird." She said, reaching down and tickling the blue ones chin. It looked up at her blankly and a little confused.

"Only two left…" Sakura plucked out what had to be the strangest of the group. It was perfectly split down the middle with black on one side and white on the other. It stared at her with unnerving yellow eyes before meowing loudly.

"What's wrong little guy?"

It meowed again a bit louder.

"Hmm…Maybe you're hungry or something…" She set him down with the others and scooped the last kitty out. This one had very dark fur that almost seemed purple if you looked at it the right way. (AN: Kakuzu's hair color is not giving so I made that up) It had scary white-on-black eyes instead of the usual black-on-white, "Such a creepy bunch…"

Standing up, Sakura dusted her hands off her pants and looked down at the six little kittens staring up at her, "Wait…six?" she counted again, "Oh no! Ones missing!" after a brief panicked search, the girl found the smallest kitten trying to scale her couch.

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"Wheeeeee!" Tobi squealed as the girl with pink hair snatched him off the couch, "You guys have to try this!"

"Baka…" Hidan mumbled.

"Actually…" Diedara scrunched up his muzzle, looking thoughtful, "I think he's right, yeah. There's nothing we can do so why not enjoy getting taken care of for a while, yeah?"

"You might have a point there." Kisame said, stretching, "Free food, good care, no missions…and yeah there is nothing we can do about it."

Kakuzu nodded and Itachi just sat quietly, "Fine. Then we shall stay and pretend to be 'innocent' kittens." Zetsu's white side said smoothly.

"Fine…if you put it that way." Hidan sighed, "I guess this isn't so bad. It could be worse."

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"Here kitties! C'mon!" Sakura called, tucking the small black kitten into the crook of her arm, "I've got some food for you!"

The first to come trotting into the kitchen was the black and white one, "Ah so you _were_ hungry!" Sakura grinned down at it and placed a small plate of canned fish in front of him. It looked at the food then up at her.

"What? I thought cats liked fish!" Sighing Sakura sat on the counter, "I don't have any cat food with me…I'll have to buy some." Next came the other black one, the yellow one and the blue one. They took one look at the food and seemed to get angry. The blue one even swatted at the yellow one.

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"Maybe cat foods not so bad, yeah?" Diedara said nervously as Kisame brought his paw up again.

"Uhg! Why did I listen to you?" the shark man growled, "Now we have to eat gunk from a can!"

"It has to be better than what we normally eat." Hidan said, walking in next to his partner, "Maybe this girl isn't a cheapskate like _some_ people I know."

"Hey!" Kakuzu looked indignant, "I only buy the cheap stuff because we need to save out money for better things…like weapons."

"And hospital trips for food poisoning?" Zetsu's dark side snapped, "I've eaten better people than the crap you buy."

"Yeah, you poisoned Itachi-san twice!" Kisame looked a bit amused by this but tried not to show it, "And that time with Diedara…"

The blond man shuttered, "Don't even bring that up, yeah…I still get cramps and a fever just thinking about it…"

Kakuzu grumbled something about rude ungrateful bastards and slunk off to a corner of the kitchen to sulk.

"This fish is good." Zetsu's white side commented, taking another mouthful.

"Well don't eat it all!" Kisame said.

"We're hungry too, yeah."

So all but Tobi and Kakuzu crowded around the plate.

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Sakura laughed at the way her charges were snarfing down the food, "Hm…that man never said if you guys had names of not…" She held up the little black and orange one, "So I guess that mean I get to name you!"

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Darkkinkachu: And now for a word from our sponsors…

Lee: Youthful Blossom Toothpaste! The only toothpaste with Hydroglycimaka! It will make your teeth gleam like mine! –big gleaming smile- shaTWING!

Darkkinkachu: GAAAH!! MY EYES! I'M BLIND! –rubs furiously at eyes- please review…-blink blink- I wont be able to read them now, but review any ways…Ideas and suggestions are welcome. Also if there's a particular character you want to see just ask and I'll try to fit them in. This is just my lazy fun-time Fic after all…


	3. Chapter 3

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: This chapter is dedicated to xDeadlyDiseasex for the awesome (slightly odd) review. Lol I'm glad you like my profile, I'm really rather fond of it –puffs up proudly- ahhhhh LOOOOK! I'm in a 'favorite authors' list! –happy Kinkachu dance- yeah anyways…Also very much thanks to my other reviewers;

SakuraBlossom221334- Thank you very much. It always makes me warm and fuzzy when people call my ideas original.

MistressBlossom- Thanks. I suppose I could throw in a little romance if you guys want it ;P

Bobalu- Thank you and I'll take both cake**_ and_** pie cause I'm a greedy bastard XD

Sakura Sama 101- lol there was supposed to be hyphens in the title so people would know I'm not a total idiot and can't spell Akatsuki. Thanks for the review!

StarlitBaby- tah dah! Now you shall see what she names them! Thank you!

Chica De La Luna Fantasma- you look familiar…any ways thank you very much! Yay for plot twists!

XxHotBloodySirenxX- Thanks for the review :)

I never expected so may people to actually like this -.-' now I'll have to actually work on this thing…

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"I already have a name…" Tobi said unsurely, flicking his tail, "Its Tobi. As in 'Tobi is a good boy!' see?"

"You know she can't understand us, right?" Kisame said from the floor, "I just hope she doesn't give us girly manes like 'fluffy' or 'princess'…"

The others gave a slight shudder, "This is not how I planed on spending my week…" Hidan grumbled.

"Had a hot date or something, yeah?" The blond mocked.

Before the silver kitten could retort, Itachi held up a paw, "Quiet…she's doing something…"

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Sakura smiled and held the kitten at arms length, "I got it! Since you're the smallest, I'll call you Chiisai!" it looked back at her and mewed pitifully, "What? You don't like it? Well too bad, I can't think of anything else."

Setting him down, Sakura stood up and stretched, "hm…lets see…" her eyes fell on her next victim. Picking up the largest one, the girl carried him into the living room, "C'mon! Come on kitties!"

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"I wish she wouldn't talk to us like that, yeah." Diedara grumbled, looking up at Kisame.

"Yeah! We're S-class criminals!" Hidan complained, "yet she orders us around like…like…"

"Kittens?"

"I hate you…"

"What do you think she'll name Kisame?" Kakuzu said, slinking out of his corner and joining the others, "I bet thirty yen she calls him something to do with his color."

"Is money all you ever think of?" Hidan asked with disgust.

"No…some times I think of women…"

"Oh for the love of…" Hidan decided to just drop the whole thing.

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Sakura stared down at the kitten which stared back, only it didn't seem to need to blink, "Strange…" it looked at her and yawned, "Wow look at those chompers…your like a shark!" for some reason this seemed to freak the kitten out.

It squirmed and meowed loudly, throwing a panicked look to its companions, "Wait! Wait! Geez I'm sorry…maybe you don't like sharks…that's too bad cause I'm going to call you Jaws!"

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The others gave a relived sigh. If the girl had some how recognized Kisame…they would either be thrown in prison or stuffed in a sack and dropped in the river.

"My names better than yours." Kisame taunted as soon as the girl put him down. Tobi pretended not to hear him.

One by one the girl picked up the small cats and dubbed them. Diedara became Zell-chan (much to the others amusement) Hidan was Quicksilver, Itchi was named Kuroi, Zetsu was called Yang, and Kakuzu became Frodo.

"There! Now you all have nice names!" The girl said, smiling down at them.

"Yeah nice names…right Zell-_chan_?" Kisame grinned as Diedara scowled.

"Its not funny, yeah!" He growled, "Even as a cat I get mistaken for a girl…"

While the others laughed at Diedara's plight, Itachi sat motionless, watching the girl. For some reason he was sure he knew her from some where…

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Sakura sat on the couch, watching Kuroi watch her, "Go play with the others." She said, making a shooing motion with her hands, "You kittens and your staring…" the black furball just blinked at her.

She sighed and looked over at the clock, "Hm…almost five…I need to go shopping." The green eyed girl stood up and made for the door only to stop dead half way there. She turned back to her little charges and frowned.

"I really shouldn't just leave them here…" she thought out loud, "They don't have any food or water or a litter box…" looking around her emerald eyes fell on an object and she grinned.

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"What's pinky up to now?" Kakuzu said suddenly, looking up.

"What's up with the basket, yeah?"

"Yay! I think we're going for a ride!" Tobi squealed, rushing forward.

Itachi frowned slightly, "I don not want to be carried around like a loaf of bread."

"You don't have a choice." Hidan smirked, enjoying Itachi's discomfort.

They were all placed in a large, soft-lined picknic basket and lifted into the air, "Wheeee!" Tobi screamed, poking his head out from under one of the flaps, "I love this! Isn't this great, Zetsu-san."

"Yay." The mechanical white side mumbled.

And so, with a basket of S-class killer kittens, Sakura made her way out the door and to the market.

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Darkkinkachu: ah ha ha…this wasn't long enough…but next chapter will be! So do you guys want Sai and Team 7 in the next chapter? Or someone else? I'll let you guys decide. By the way, is Tobi to out going? I haven't actually seen him (Or Hidan or Kakuzu) yet so I don't know what they are like. Reviews are always welcome!


	4. Chapter 4

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: First of all I would like to apologize. I have been slacking in the writing department as of late D: but I really do have more important things to do…any ways, thanks to all my loverly reviewers! I just want you all to know what an idiot I am 0.o Why, oh why, cant I resist an offer for a story trade? -.- ugh…now I have to many stories in the air. BUT FEAR NOT! I'll be working on this fic and the new one I'm starting and putting 'A Demons Tears' on hold. Now…ON WITH THE STORY!_  
_

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In the bustling streets of Konoha, no one noticed the pink haired girl with a basket of kittens. This was lucky for the kittens.

"Ah Konoha…brings back memories doesn't it, Itachi-san?" Kisame kitty said, poking his nose out and grinning.

"No." was the stoic answer.

Kisame rolled his eyes and turned to Diedara instead, "Where do you think she's taking us?"

"Maybe she's talking us to the pound!" Zetsu's dark side cackled. When every one turned to look at him he coughed and looked away.

"Creeeeepyyyyy…" Hidan mumbled in a sing-song voice.

"Zetsu-san isn't creepy!" Tobi said, trying to defend his former teacher, "Even if he does talk to himself and some times eats people!"

Every one moved away from the bicolor kitten. Zetsu gave Tobi a slight glare to which the boy smiled weakly and said 'Tobi is a good boy?'

"We're probably just going to the pet store, yeah." Diedara said, eyeing Zetsu with distrust, "Didn't you eat a Kisame-clone once?"

"…"

"Ew…" Kisame scrunched up against the side of the basket, "I hope I tasted awful."

"Actually, you were quite good." The dark side took over again and licked its lips, "though you were kind of salty…"

Even Itachi cringed away, "Zetsu please stop. Your scaring Tobi."

"I'm not scared!"

"Yes you are."

"Um…ok…"

Suddenly the gentle swing of the basket stopped. Their former troubles forgotten, seven little heads peeped out from under the flap curiously.

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"Hello Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura chirped, stopping in front of the store, "Hey Naruto! Sai! What are you guys doing here?"

"I needed some new collars for my dogs." Kakashi said, his visible eye crinkling in a smile as he looked down at his student, "What are you up to today?"

"I got a job!" Sakura said, holding up the basket.

"What might that be hag? Scaring children?" Sai mocked, his fake grin in place.

Sakura ignored the painter and opened one of the baskets flaps, "No, a man dropped by and ask me to watch these little cuties for a while."

"Aw! What weird little fluff balls, dattebayo!" Nauro said, reaching in to grab one. He scooped out the black one with red eyes and held it up, "Ne? Sakura-chan this ones glaring at me…"

Sakura laugh slightly, "Yeah, they're not the friendliest animals around…I think they're just nervous though."

"Maybe they're just freaked out by your face, ugly."

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"Is this guy blind or just plain stupid?" Kakuzu asked, frowning up at the boy.

"What do you mean?" Tobi questioned.

"I mean he keeps calling the girl ugly."

"I bet he's gay, yeah." Diedara nodded, trying to cross his arms/paws.

"Yeah I think she's pretty!" Tobi chirped looking up at the pink haired kunoichi with stars in his eyes.

"Pretty? I think the word you're looking for is 'hott'." Kisame grinned.

"I'd hit that." (AN: I so took that from the second 'South Konoha' or 'Konoha Park' or what ever it is XD funeh funeh stuff…)

"She does look good…" Zetsu mumbled mostly to himself.

"I think they're talking about attraction, not eating." Itachi said when Naruto plopped him back in the basket.

"So what do you think Itachi-san?" Kisame smirked, nudging his partner with his little kitten elbow.

The Uchiha looked up at the girl for a moment then back to the others, "I think my foolish little brother is more of an idiot than I thought."

"Knock it off Sai!"

The groups of quadrupeds looked up to see the gay-boy laughing and their girl looking rather upset, "That son of a-"

"It is not our place." Itachi said calmly. Silence…

"Screw that, **Gay boy must die!**" Both of Zetsu's sides yelled as he launched himself out of the basket and onto Sai's leg.

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It took Sakura almost ten minuets to pry Yang off of Sai. Why the black and white kitten had attacked him in the first place, they still weren't quite sure. Oddly enough the other kittens seemed to be cheering him on as he mauled Sai's calf.

"That was very bad Yang." She scolded, holding him up, "But thanks anyways." The girl giggled and place a kiss on the top of the kittens head before setting him back with the others.

"Sakura-chan! You want to go get Raman with us, Dattebayo?" Naruto asked still smirking a Sai.

"Sure! Let me just buy this stuff and take the kittens home."

"Oh you should bring them with you, Dattebayo." Narutos rarely seen but very scary malicious side had come out. He wanted to see if the fluff balls would attack Sai again. Said boy gave the blond a slight frown but quickly went back to his blank face.

"Ok, Sure! See you there!" with that Sakura skipped into the store to buy food, beds and kitty litter and, just maybe, cat nip. (AN: he he heeee…)

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Darkkinkachu: rawr…again with the not long enough chapters…oh well. Next up, we shall see what happens at the Raman shop! Maybe I'll throw in Neji and Lee and Tenten…WAHHAHAHAHAHA! suffer my insane, perverted humor, mortals!

Neji,Lee,Tenten: -sweatdrop- you stay away from us…

Darkkinkachu: what are you gonna do about it punks?

Neji: -Activates Byakuugan-

Lee: -opens three gates-

Tenten: -gets out those scary scrolls-

Darkkinkachu: eep O.O

Zaku: -walks out while Darkkinkachu is getting pounded- Please remember to review! Suggestions and character requests are always welcome. Thank you!

Darkkinkachu: Holy shit, what are you guys gonna do with THAT?1!


	5. Chapter 5

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: -pokes BrYtt BRatt- I know you! Thanks for the suggestions:) Its so weird (in a good way) to have these people who have read most of my stories…its like you actually like me or something! XD now on to my next phase…FAN ART! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Yosh! Someday my stories will be so famous I will have fan art for them! AHHAHAHAHAHA! –Strikes heroic pose-

Kisame: riiiiiight…and at about the same time, I'll quit Akatsuki, join a knitting class and announce my undying love for Sakura through song and dance.

Darkkinkachu: …it could happen…maybe…OK FINE! Frickin' blue dream-smasher…

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"How's your leg Sai?" Kakashi asked, visible eye crinkled in a barley contained smile.

"Fine." The artist replied with as much emotionless-ness as some one with a bleeding hamstring could.

To the left, Naruto chuckled again. The three boys had already entered the Raman stand and sat down (Sai with some difficulty) "It serves you right for being so mean to Sakura-chan. Dattebayo."

"I read people like nicknames…" the art nin mumbled, poking at the chopsticks, "Maybe I'm reading the wrong books…"

"Pfft…" Naruto snorted, "I'll say!"

"Say what?" Sakura walked in and took a seat next to Naruto, setting the basket on a stool beside her.

"Just that Sai needs a better choice in books." Kakashi said, pulling out an all to familiar orange book, "Here Sai, try this."

"What?!"

"Kakashi he can't read that! He's under-aged!"

"I don't want your perverted books." Sai declined 'politely', "I get hit enough as it is."

Sakura shrugged, ordering her food, "Its not like you don't deserve it."

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"Ennnnngggghaa…" Kisame moaned, "So…hungry…"

"Me too." Hidan grumbled, poking his nose out.

"Raman…"

"Ew! Stop drooling on me!"

"I'm still hungry!" Zetsu growled, "That boy tasted awful! Like ink or something!"

"Sakura-san!"

The kittens all perked up at hearing someone call the girls name, "What is it _now_?" Kakuzu growled, sticking his head out. It wasn't two seconds later that her withdrew it, eyes wide and panicy.

"What's wrong with you, yeah?" Deidara asked, "What's out there?"

"Gr…Green…so…much…green…" Kakuzu mumbled, "The…The spandex and eyebrows and…and…shiny…" he stopped making sense after that.

"Let me look," Tobi offered, shoving the dazed kitten out of the way and peering out, "Whoa! You guys gotta see this! He really _is_ all green!" Kisame and Deidara both came up beside him and looked out.

"Wow…I've never seen such sparkly teeth before." Kisame said.

"Hey!" the blond suddenly pointed with his paw, "Isn't that a Hyuuga? With the white eyes, yeah?"

"They're lavender, not white." Itachi said, coming up behind him, "and yes…I think that's their prodigy."

"How is it you know everything?" Hidan demanded, also coming up to the rim of the basket.

"I'm just that good." Itachi mumbled, "Unlike you slackers, I actually read the report on the Kyuubi's container. These are his friends."

"Well aren't you just high and mighty…" Hidan grumbled.

"Cant you just shut up for two seconds?" Kakuzu snapped, breaking out of his daze.

"No! Its in my nature to talk!"

"And never shut up, yeah…"

"Ok Itachi-san," Kisame said, "If your so good, then who's that?"

Red eyes glanced out, "Tenten. Weapons master. Kunoichi of Team Gai."

"I hate you…" Hidan's little ears went back against his silver skull, "What's so special about Hyuuga's anyways?"

"They can see through stuff!" Tobi chirrped. Every one turned and stared at him, "What? I'm not as dumb as you guys think!"

"What a scary thought…" Zetsu's white side mumbled, "A smart Tobi." the black side finished.

Tobi puffed up, thinking Zetsu was complimenting him. I never said he was _actually_ smart…

"What're they doing now, yeah?" Deidara almost fell out of the basket trying to get a better look. Kakashi, Sai, Lee, and Naruto were all talking about missions while Tenten and Sakura caught up on the latest gossip, "Guess bright eyes isn't the social type, yeah…"

"I think I've heard of the Byakuugan before…" Kisame said slowly, "Is it true it can see through anything?"

"Yes," Itachi said broadly, Hanging half out of the basket, "Depending on the amount of Charka used it can see through something as thick as a concrete wall or thing as a piece of clothing. It can also see Char-"

"They can see though cloths?" Kakuzu blurted out. Itachi glared at him and he fell silent.

"Yes. But from what I hear, the Hyuuga's are a very proud and honorable clan." Itachi looked out again.

"I don't know Itachi…the way he's looking at the girl…" Kisame poked him with a claw, "Use your Sharingan and see if he's got his freaky eyes on."

"Did you just tell me what to do?"

"…no…"

"I didn't think so…" Powering up his blood line, Itachi examined the boys face, "Hm…it _is_ on, at a very low setting…but theres no way to be sure if he's looking at the girl like that." A tiny, wicked grin made its way on the Hyuuga's when Sakura turned to greet him, "or I could be wrong…"

"I'll kill him too!" Zetsu snarled, fighting against Hidan and Kakuzu who were holding him down.

"You just want to get on the girls good side again!" Kisame accused.

"Yeah, you got a kiss last time." Kakuzu glared at him as Zetsu broke into a wide grin.

"Why yes I did…all the more reason to gnaw off that perverts knees!"

"Sure!" they stopped their bickering at the sound of the pink girl's voice, "You guys should come over this Wednesday, I don't think I'm doing any thing."

"Oh great…now Squeaky, Spandex and Uber Perv will be over at the house…" Deidara sighed, "That will be a fun night, yeah."

"I'll see you guys later!" The once mighty and fear Akatsuki all went tumbling back into each other as the basket was lifted, "Don't forget! Wednesday!"

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"My my…" Sakura dumped the small cats out in the center of her living room, "You guys sure are well behaved." She picked up Yang with one hand, "Except for attacking Sai. He may be a cold, freaky, social idiot, but he's still my friend."

The black and white kitten gave her a reproachful look and meowed loudly, "Oh! I haven't fed you guys! How silly of me!" setting him down, Sakura got busy placing various kitten-things around her apartment then wandering into the kitchen.

"Here kitty kitty kitty!" She called, setting three large bowls of kitten chow down, "Eat up!" all but the bi colored one gave her annoyed looks before poking at the food with their noses, "Good heavens…you really are weird…"

Sakura shook her head still smiling, "Good night my little fuzz balls!" and she skipped up the stairs.

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"Hmm…This really isn't _that_ bad…" Kisame mused, taking another bite of food.

Deidara nodded next to him, "I don't think I could eat it every day though, yeah."

"I hope Leader comes back before this gets too monotonous." Tobi said.

"Hmm…" Kakuzu was looking at his food thoughtfully, "Ya know…if this stuff is about 38 cents a can…and an average man could eat, say…20 cans…that would be-"

"You are NOT feeding us cat food, no matter how cheap it is." Itachi hissed in a deadly whisper. Kakuzu quickly stopped his figuring and went back to eating.

After 'supper' they wandered around the apartment, looking at the stuff she had got them. Kisame found Itachi sitting on the couch, washing his face, "Itachi-san? What are you doing?"

"Whats it look like? Really Kisame, I thought you were a smart one."

"I am a smart one…" Kisame grumbled, jumping down. He crept up the stairs and peeked into a room. Grinning, the shark man crept in and jumped up on the bed, "Nighty night pinky…" he mumbled before curling against the girls stomach and falling asleep.

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Darkkinkachu: I forgot to mention this at the start so I will now. THANK YOU to all the people who told me stuff about the charaters, it was very helpful! Also, thanks to the person who told me I was spelling Deidaras name wrong –feels like an idiot- yeeeeeah…Wish some one had told me sooner…any ways thanks for reading and please review!

Neji: I really hate it when people use the 'Nejis a pervert and can see though clothes' stereotype…-cracks knuckles and activates Byakuugan-

Darkkinkachu: not again….-cowers-


	6. Chapter 6

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: Wouldn't it be nice if the scroll down things that you match characters with had things like 'multiple' and 'Akatsuki' and 'Other'? Or, better yet, a thing for pairings you don't want! –dreamy sigh and big shiny anime eyes- then I wouldn't have to sort through al those damn SasuSaku when I'm trying to find a good Sakura story… uhm…any ways…review replies at the bottom! I think this is the longest chapter I have ever written…praise me XD

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Sakura awoke the next morning feeling oddly warm and weighed down. Looking around groggily, she found several variously colored lumps of fur peppering her bed, "awwww…they came to sleep with me! How sweet!" she cooed, picking up the two nearest her.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

Kisame awoke to the odd feeling of being plucked from the warm spot he was sleeping on. Blearily he looked around and found that the girl had picked him up. He smiled slightly but stopped when he saw who was in her other hand, "Deidara?"

"Mmmm…" the blond mumbled, still mostly asleep, "just like that, yeah…"

"Wake up!" Kisame snapped with a disgusted look, "Bloody pervert! What are you doing in here?"

"We could ask you the same thing." Zetsu said, crawling out from under the covers.

"I was just…making sure she was alright." The shark man said airily, "I must have fallen asleep or something."

"Yeah right…" Tobi scoffed, hopping up on Sakura's knee. Kisame glared at him but seeing as how the bigger kitten was being held fast he couldn't do anything.

"Would you all please…Shut. Up." Came a grumpy voice on the other side of the bed. A rather tussled and annoyed looking Hidan poked his head over the girls stomach to glare at them, "I was _trying_ to sleep."

"I guess we have to get up any ways." Kakuzu stretched and yawned, little white fangs flashing, "I wonder what we'll do today…"

"Cat things." All heads turned to the larger black kitten.

"Did Itachi just make a joke?" Deidara gasped, now fully awake.

"Yeah but not a very good one." Tobi chuckled. He stopped once he saw that Itachi was approaching him, "I didn't mean it Itachi-san! It was funny! Ha ha…ha…"

"If I could kill you and get away with it…I would…in fact, I might just shove you out the window. I'm sure I could make it look like an 'accident'."

Before Itachi could make good on his threat Sakura scooped them all up and gave them a hug, "ah…what could be better than waking up to a hug full of kittens?" she said happily setting them down again.

"A hug full of Sakura, that's what." Kakuzu grinned.

"I thought you only liked money." Deidara commented, looking at the dark cat with distaste.

"Weeeeell…there's only so much money can do…ya know?" he scratched at his ear, "Don't get me wrong, I would kill for money-"

"You _have_ killed for money." Hidan interjected, "more than once…"

It was at that point that Sakura got up and stretched, "Be good you guys." She said before grabing some clothes and walking into the bathroom. Silence…

"All right, get out." Itachi said in his calm, deadly voice.

"What? Why?"

"I know what you guys are thinking and I won't let you. Out."

"Oh please…it's not like we were going to peek while she was in the shower." Tobi snorted. The others tried to look innocent like that was so not what they were just planning to do.

"Out." Itachi red eyes began to spin slightly which sent almost all of them scattering. Zetsu, however, hung back.

"How do we know you aren't just trying to get rid of us so YOU can watch her bathe?"

Itachi gave him a glare that that would have made the Kyuubi cower. Needless to say the plant man was gone in a matter of seconds.

Itachi had always been a man of integrity. He would never do something as undignified as spy on a pretty girl in the shower. The fact that she had locked the door had nothing to do with it…

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Fifteen minuets later, Sakura came tromping down the stairs all squeaky clean and carrying Kuroi in her arms, "Good morning!" she said, setting him down, "Time for breakfast!"

Several of the kittens gave her blank looks, "What? You guys aren't morning people?" she could have sworn Zell-chan rolled his eyes.

She was halfway through her bacon and eggs when there was a strange raspy knock on the door, "Hm…that's odd…only one person knocks like that…"

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

As soon as the girl left the room seven little fur-balls leaped up on the table and devoured what was left of her breakfast.

"Mmmm Bacon…" Hidan sighed, licking the grease off the plate.

"That's disgusting! You're going to get fat." Kakuzu said.

The silver kitten just shrugged, "Its just a little bacon fat…besides, look at Zetsu. He eats all the time and all kinds of nasty things but he's not fat."

"I will eat your phalanges." Zetsu's dark side hissed.

"What are you doing here?" they all looked up at the sound of the girls voice.

"I came all the way from Suna and that's how you great me?" a deep, defiantly male voice deadpanned.

"That voice…sounds familiar, yeah…" Deidara hopped of the table and walked into the living room. Since they had nothing better to do and all the food was now gone, the rest of the cats fallowed him.

They found Sakura talking with a some-what short red head. His green eyes were focused only on her so he didn't notice the gaggle of felines coming his way. A blood red kanji for love was burned into his forehead and a large gourd adorned his back.

"Hey…wasn't he the One Tail's container?" Kisame said, twitching his own tail.

"Yeah…" Deidara frownd, "I thought he was dead, yeah…how annoying…"

"What's he doing here?" Tobi cut in. They watched as Sakura smiled and told him to wait in the back room.

"You're so much trouble, Gaara-sama…couldn't you have waited until I made my monthly trip to Suna?"

"No." his voice was dull but the corners of his lips twitched ever so slightly in a faint smile. The pink haired girl rolled her eyes and motioned for him to sit down in one of the arm chairs.

"Don't they have people who do this where you come from?"

"Yes, but none are as good as you."

"I'm flatered."

"Ick…look at him flirting with her…" Hidan sneered, "Why is he even here any ways?"

They decided to just watch from a safe distance and find out. Sakura walked around behind the chair, placed her hands on the side of his head and…_snap! Crackle! Pop!_ With one quick jerk twisted his neck to the right.

"Oh my-"

"SHE KILLED HIM!"

"You twit…she's just cracking his neck."

_Crick crack snap_ then to the left. Gaara stood up and rolled his shoulders, "Thanks."

"Well that was slightly disturbing," Kisame muttered, "Hey Deidara…Deidara?"

When the blue kitten turned around he found his friend passed out on the floor, "what the…hey! Wake up! What's wrong with you?"

"Oh Deidara-seinpa doesn't like the sound of bones cracking," Tobi said offhandedly, "He told me so when we were on that Swamp mission. He just prefers blowing things up."

They decided to just leaving him there.

"I'm going to the Hokage's office and then on a walk around Konoha," Gaara said, "Would you like to come, Sakura-san?"

"Look at him praticaly asking her out." Kisame growled, "If I weren't only seven pounds of fur, I'd show him…" he walked over to Sakura and glared up at the Kazekage.

"Well I wasn't doing any thing to-"

"WAH CHOO!"

"um…bless you…"

Gaara rubbed at his nose frowning. He didn't sneeze…it was such an un-Gaara thing to do…but his eyes began to water and a fierce twinge was developing in his nose, "ah…ha…CHOO!"

"Are you ok?"

"Sakura-san do you HAAFWOO! Hab any peds?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Peds! Like a dob or ca-ah-aaaaAAAACHOO! At?"

"Yep!" Sakura picked up Kisame and held him up to Gaara's face, "I got them yesterday!"

"ACK! Ged id away!" The red head stumbled back, "I'm alerdick! FWACHOO!"

"Really? I didn't know you were allergic to cats."

"Well I am."

Being the rather evil people they are, the Acatsukie all grinned and sauntered over to Gaaras feet. The poor boy never had a chance…

Try as she might, Sakura just couldn't get her pets to leave Gaara alone, "I don't know why they like you so much," She said apologetically, "normally they stay away from people."

Gaara just glared at her with slightly red eyes. He was just about to go out the door when there was a knock.

"Hello?" Sakura opened the door to be enveloped in a strong pair of arms.

"Hey there Pinky!"

"Hello Temari." Came the muffled reply. After being let go Sakura took a step back, "Hi Kankuro, what are you guys doing here?"

"We were just looking for…Gaara…"

If you have never seen a red-haired psychopathic insomniac sneeze then I don't expect you to understand the hilarity of the situation. Temari snorted and clamped a hand over her mouth while Kankuro made a pained face from trying not to laugh.

"Don' you say a worb…" Only Gaara could threaten some one with a stuffed up nose and still sound intimidating.

"Um…yeah…any ways…" Temari turned back to the pink haired girl, "We can't do anything today but we were just wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow? We were going to do some fun stuff with Kankuro, honey and an Eye-eye!"

"Yeah! Wait…what?" said boy gave her a slightly horrified look, "Where did you get an eye-eye? And why is it always me?"

"As much as I love torturing cat-man, Team Gai is coming over tomorrow…" Sakura sighed, "so I guess not…unless…"

"Unless?"

"Unless you guys want to come over too!" The medic nin grinned, "Yeah! It could be like a sleep over like we used to have a Gennin!"

"Sound like fun!" Temari was grinning madly, "ok we'll see you tomorrow evening! C'mon Gaara, lets get you some benadril."

"Bye!" Sakura waved happily as the Sand siblings walked away.

"I've got a bad feeling about this…" Kisame muttered.

"It's just a few people." Itachi said, "How bad could it be?"

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Darkkinkachu- bad news my duckies. I am rapidly loosing interest in the Naruto series -.- it may have something to do with my hitting the mass of fillers now showing and coming to a grinding halt. –flustered sigh- I thought I could go back and watch the first part (I started around episode 28ish) and that would make me like it aging but…it back fired…I got pissed at Sakuras long hair and 'Sasukekuuuuuun' whining and said temes 'I shall brood and be a cold-ass stick in the mud' attitude. Aw…but Naruto…I wuv him so much…but yeah. I have been sucked into Harry Potter fandom yet again (bleh…) and have started watching Avatar the last airbender…I just love comedy XD

Some review replies from the last chapter….

BrYtt BRatt- -tears of joy- fanart…ahahahahahha Kisame hates you now by the way:P (Kisame: -sitting in a cornor trying to knit- I…hate…this…) tee hee…please tell me if you ever decide to draw/post it and where. Yes, Acatsuki shall being dealing with Konohas most Youthful team again soon…but I have a bit of a twist planed –shifty eyes- Hope you had a good Thanksgiving:)

MistressBlossom- yeah…poor Neji, he's always getting portrayed like that. But come on…eyes that see through stuff? That's just asking for it XD There shall be more 'curious' boys I am thinking…

Meeresstern1983- Longest. Review. EVER. Neji is most definitely NOT the only pervert in this story. As for not minding an Acatsuki your bed, I wouldn't either. :P I did laugh. I laughed and it sort of scared the people who were around me at the time. They gave me 'WTF?' looks like this O.o then I almost cried because both you and BrYtt BRatt said you would draw me fan art and I was so very happy to have one of my dreams come true…but I didn't cause I'm not a ninny -.- so there. If you do happen to post your art please tell me. Kisame hates you too :)

As for the last part of your review…I felt rather embarrassed…and ashamed…like a beat puppy. I am SO SORRY! I had no idea my portrayal of Tobi was bothering you that much. My only idea of how he is came from Fanfics and, as we all know, most of those are about hazing and junk so…I will take all your information in and try to apply it in the chapter. Thank you for every thing! Wow, that was a long reply…

Monster-chan- er…another review that makes me feel like a beat puppy…I'm so very very very sorry, but your story is not done yet. Trivial things like school, graduating and my job have been interfering with what's truly important to me. -.- yeeeah…so just hang in there and enjoy this story until I can beat my brain into submission and write your fic. Thanks for the review!

Sillymail- Tah-dah! Tis an update as you requested! YAY! And I'm glad you liked my story ideas. Any you want to see in particular?

VioletaNatalia- I'm glad so many people find this funny. When I started it I was just trying to get this weird idea out of my head to make room for other things. I love to make people laugh eh? Marvelous escape? Sure, why not…

Princess of Thieves- lol yes who could resist pervy Neji? I think deep down Kisame likes to cuddle –nod nod- here's your update!

And Thanks To Every One Else Who Has Reviewed! Rubber Chickens For Every One!


	7. Chapter 7

Darkkinkachu: You know, I had no idea I hadn't even been near FFnet for three whole months until a reviewer brought it up…my bad…but seriously, sorry about that people :( But I'm back now! With a new chapter! Yaaaaay! If this chappy seems a bit disoriented and crammed and rushed its because…well…it is, for one thing. But more importantly, its because I haven't decided if this is the second to last chapter or if I will write more.

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After the sand siblings left, Sakura returned to her breakfast, "wha-? Where did all my food go?"

The kittens, oddly enough, were nowhere to be seen.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

"Maybe Itachi's right," Zetsu mumbled, "This could be bad. All those people here…"

Kisame gasped, "Your right! Some one might hit on Sakura while we're not looking!"

A large sweat-drop rolled down the back of Zetsu's head, "That's…that's not really what I meant…"

A jingling sound made them look around. Deidara was standing on his back legs, swatting at a little bell attached to some string. When he saw the others looking at him he just shrugged his little kitty shoulders, "It's fun, yeah."

Turning away from their odd companion, the small group formed a semi-circel in the middle of the living room, "What I _meant_ was that, with so many people, someone might recognize us, or at least get a little suspicious."

"I don't think so." Tobi said, pawing at a loose bit of fuzz, "If anyone was going to recognize us it would have been Kakashi-san, right?" he looked up from the fasinating fluff to see every one staring at him, "What? I just thought…"

"That is the best idea he's ever had…" Zetsu's dark side grumbled while his light side came close(sort of) to beaming at its former pupil.

"Tobi really is a good boy," Hidan laughed, scratching his chin with his back paw, "Not even the Uchiha genius thought of that!"

"Maybe I did and I just didn't want to share it with those of lower inteligents." Itachi hissed in a soft, deadly voice. Hidan gulped and suddenly became very interested in his tiny, pink-padded toes.

At that moment Sakura came back into the room, smiled at her charges, and took a seat on the couch, "I have the day off so I can stay here with you guys today!"

"I wonder if she always talks to animals like they can understand…" Kakuzu thought out loud. The others ignored the rude comment.

As the day wore on, little happened. Itachi took up a spot on the couch next to Sakura, diligently cleaning his silky black fur. Kisame had fallen asleep on her feet. After eating the rest of what was left in the kitchen, Zetsu sat on the windowsill, mumbling to himself as people passed by below. Deidara, Tobi, and (to some extent) Hidan, were attacking the fake mice and balls of yarn that had been scattered around the apartment. Kakuzu enjoyed himself by walking all over and appraising things value.

It wasn't until about 2:30 that anything happened. Itachi was just settling down for a nap in Sakura's lap when the phone rang, startling everyone, espescialy Kisame, who lept up with an odd yowl and dove under the couch.

"Awww…It's ok, Jaws." The young medic cooed, trying to tempt the cat out, "It was just the phone." When he didn't come out, she sighed and picked up the reciver, "hello?"

"Are you ok, Kisame-san?" Tobi asked curiously, peeking under the furnature.

"I'm fine!" was the sharp reply, "Other than my tiny kitten heart almost exploded!"

"Oh, hi Shikamaru! What are up to?"

Itachi tilted his head, flicking one ear to listen better.

"Who is it?" Hidan asked, placing his front feet against the couch, "what do they want?"

"Yes, I saw him this morning." Sakura said, grinning and putting down her book, "Mm-hm, just his neck, but I could tell that wasn't all he wanted…" a pause, fallowed by a small giggle, "I know it. But Temari and Kankuro came in and you know he doesn't like to do anything while they're around."

"Whats that supposed to mean, yeah?" Deidara had clawed his way up to sit next to Itachi, "What wont he do when Temari and Kankuro are around?"

"Hush!" Kakuzu snarled, crawling over the back of the couch and scaring the beejeebers out of the blond, "Just shut up and maybe we'll find out."

Sakura sighed, bring a hand up to her head, "Yeah, I know. Gaara always wears me out when ever he comes here. Its all I can do not to scream sometimes. It's like he purposely avoids contact just so I have to deal with every little thing he needs."

"The hell?" Hidan frowned, now hanging on the cushions, "whats _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Ano…guys?"

"If we all just SHUT UP maybe she'll say in a minuet." Itachi growled.

"Guys?"

"Shh! Itachi-sama wants us to be quiet, Kisame-san!"

A laugh broke up the conversation, "No, you're the easiest. You just lay there and let me do what ever I want. All you ever do is grunt and say, 'how troublesome'." Another pause, "Yeah, you would think, but I really don't make a lot off of it. I know, I know…I really should charge people more, but they're my friends!"

"Does any one else think this sounds a little wrong?" Hidan asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"I'm sure its nothing…" Kakuzu muttered, though he didn't seem all that sure.

"No, Neji-san is really picky." Sakua continued, "He likes it rough but if I do something he doesn't like he tells me. Fast. What?" The girl looked to the clock and bit her lower lips gently, "Well…yeah, I'm not doing anything today anyways. Come on over a session and bring that book, ok? See ya!" After hanging up the phone, Sakura turned to see all her kittens looking at her with something like horror, "What's wrong?"

"She…did that not sound like...no way…"

"It cant be! She's a top Ninja! They don't do that sort of thing for money!

"Man, I wish I had my body back…"

"Stop it." The oldest Uchiha snapped, "I don't know what that conversation was about but I'm pretty sure it wasn't what your sick minds think! She was probably…just…"

A loud, pathetic wail interrupted him. Sakura jumped off the couch and dove for the floor, "Oh! Jaws, you poor thing! Are you stuck?" another, weaker, more miserable _merrrowww_ answered her, "I am so sorry! I was on the phone with Shikamaru and I didn't even relize you were still down there!"

She lifted the couch and out staggered Kisame, covered in fine gray dustbunnies. He sneezed once, twice, then collapsed in a heap of dust and fur.

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Darkkinkachu: Ah me, that was so very short…but people were getting really mad at me and I couldn't take it any more so I just HAD to update. Thanks to the person who told me I should try a phone conversation, I can't look up who it was right now, sorry. But still, Thanks! If you can't tell, it was supposed to _be_ about massages but _sound_ like she was doing something bad. I wasn't in the mood to write something REALLY dirty so I don't know if it was that funny…sorry.

Next up, Bath Time! Shika and a mystery guest! Ano…and some other stuff!

And if one more person curses me or just reviews 'UPDATE!' only, I'll have to bite them…-snaggly grin- Please review!


	8. Chapter 8

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: -throws random kitten at Sillymail- Smiley faces do NOT count as reviews, silly!...mail…he he silly mail…er…ahem, anyways, Thank you very much for the reviews so far! Your kind words and such spurred me into writing another chapter! Yaaaaaaay! Also, Xcgirl08 gave me a positively AWESOME idea for the next chapter, so THANK YOU! XD (By the way, it was Tokyobabe2040 that gave me the phone idea) Erm…please don't get mad about any of my comments…its all in jest, yes? –Hides behind Michico1234-

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"Jaws! Speak to me little buddy!" Sakura cried, scooping up the scraggly mess once known as Kisame, "Don't die! That man will be really really mad at me if one of his kittens dies!"

"I'll say," Zetsu mumbled, stretching out on the couch, "can you imagine how pissed Leader-sama would be if he had to find a new member _again_?"

"And one of Kisame's caliber." Itachi frowned slightly.

"And color!" Tobi piped up, grinning.

"Was that a racist remark?" came a low, wheezing voice.

"You're alive, yeah!" Deidara almost fell off the back of the couch, "You ok there, Jaws?"

"NO! I am NOT ok!" Kisame snarled, starting to struggle, "I was trapped under a filthy couch for almost twenty minuets! I think a family of dust bunnies has taken refuge in my nose and there is no way I'm licking this crud off!"

"Looks like somebody needs a bath!" The pink haired medic giggled, "poor lil' thing…all a icky-sticky messy-mess." She picked a few strands of hair off his back.

Kakuzu cackled with delight, "Ahhahahaha! Mr. ickelkins is getting a bath! Bath time bath time bath time!" he began to prance around the couch chanting and laughing.

"…I think…that being kittens is messing with our heads…" Itachi said slowly, digging his claws into the soft fabric, "I _really_ hope The Leader comes back before I too go completely mad…"

Sakura suddenly stopped and looked around. Come to think of it…Jaws may have been the dirtiest, by far, but the others weren't exactly immaculate, "Hm…I'll just give all of you a bath!" (AN: VERY bad idea if you are not a charter in a fanfic. Kids, don't try this at home)

The former S-class criminals looked around at each other, "Is this good or bad, yeah?" Deidara asked, creeping backwards.

"Well taking a bath with all of you isn't exactly my idea of a good time," Hidan growled, scuttling under the couch (He didn't get stuck because he is smaller that Kisame)

Faster that you could say 'bunny slippers', the room became void of all but two cats. Kisame remained in Sakura's arms, unable and unwilling to move, while Tobi stood up on the couch, waving his paws in the air and just begging to be washed.

Sea-foam green eyes blinked with surprise at the sudden absence of animals, "What the…hey wait! Come back! I want you guys to be all squeaky clean when your owner comes back!"

Her only answer was the happy mewing of the orange-faced kitty, "Well…at least I have you two…" she sighed, picking up Tobi. With a final look around, she carried the two up the stairs to her bathroom.

Setting them down on the white tile floor, Sakura began to run hot water into the tub, "Now you guys stay up here, ok? I have to go find the others."

When she shut the door, Kisame gave a low chuckle, "Man, they are gonna geeeet iiiit when she find them. They should have just come along like us, right Tobi? Tobi?" Kisame blinked his large golden eyes, looking around for the smaller kitten, "Tobi?"

"Up here, Kisame-san!" looking up the once-shark-man-turned-cat fund his tiny companion walking along the edge of the tub, leaving dark little smudges where ever his feet touch, "Wow! This is like a swimming pool! I could drown in there!"

"Don't tempt me…" Kisame muttered, watch Tobi snake his way to the faucet.

"Look, Sakura-san left it on just a little trickle…" for a moment the only sounds were the splashing of water, Kisame's slightly heavy breathing, and the subtle _swish swish_ of Tobi's tail.

"I got it!" The black kitten squealed so suddenly it made Kisame jump, "I'll help Sakura-san by turning up the water! Then it will be all ready when she comes back with the others!" He then proceeded to stretch out his paws, swatting at the hot water knob.

"I…don't think that's a very good idea…" the large, blue cat mumbled nervously, "You should just leave it alone."

"Oh c'mon! I'm helping! What harm could it possibly do?"

-

Sakura found Hidan and Deidara pretty easily by lifting up the couch with her monstrous strength. Next was Itachi, curled up inside one of the larger toys. After stuffing them into a basket so they couldn't get away, Sakura set off to find the remaining two.

"Here kitty kitty kitty…" she called, picking up random furniture and looking beneath it.

"Dang…" Hidan muttered, mouth slightly open, "girls go _game_. Did you see her pick up the couch AND the desk? At the same time?"

"It's kinda scary, yeah…" the blond cat said, tucked away in a corner, "You know what I just thought of?"

"What?"

"She killed Sasori-dana with that super strength…yeah…"

"Smashed him into fire wood, I bet…" Itachi commented, poking his head out.

"Yeah…" Hidan agreed, eyes slightly glazed, "Just a big pile of tooth picks…"

"This is not making me feel better, yeah!" Deidara whimpered, "What if she finds out who _we_ are?! If she can make Sasori-dana into mulch just think of what she would do to us, Yeah!"

A shudder simultaneously ran through the three.

-

Kakuzu and Zetsu were proving to be much harder to find than the first three, "Come out come out where ever you aaaaaaaarre!" Sakura called, looking in the fridge, "I uh…changed my mind! I'm not giving you a bath, k? I'm giving you…tuna!"

Surprisingly enough (cough cough) there was no answer. Sighing, the young medic slid down the fridge to sit on the floor, "If I was a kitten and I didn't want to take a bath, where would I be?" For a few minuets she just sat there, deep in thought. Suddenly she jumped up, snapping her fingers, "That's it!" and she rushed off.

A few moments later she returned with a small plate of delicious smelling beef and placed it in the middle of the floor. Then she hopped up on the couch and covered herself with a blanket, humming the Bond theme song the whole time.

"Oh please…" Hidan rolled his eyes, "Does she really think they're just going to walk into such an obvious trap?"

"Zetsu might," Itachi said simply, "If he's hungry enough."

So they watched and waited…

And waited…

And waited…

"Rrrrg! Why isn't this working?!" Sakura yelled, throwing off the blanket, "What kind of cat doesn't want food?" sighing she picked up the plate and took it back. When she walked out again, she had a thoughtful look on her face, "Hmm…these cats are so strange…maybe…"

There was a pregnant pause as Hidan, Deidara, and Itachi waited to see if she had figured it out.

"Maybe they don't want food…" there were thee tiny sighs of relief, "I'm going to try something else…" The girl opened a near by drawer and began to dig around in it, "I know its here…Ah-HA!" she pulled something out, jumped back onto the couch, covered herself up quite expertly, and tossed the little thing out onto the floor.

"What the…"

"Clever girl…" Hidan grinned, starting to laugh, "Very clever! Ah hahahaa! He won't be able to resist!" hahahahaaahahahhaaa!"

There, sitting right in the middle of the carpet, was a ring. Using his Sharingan, Itachi made a small approving noise, "Good silver, not some cheap pewter. Nicely cut sapphire, well set, and there's something engraved inside it…"

"And it's shiny, Yeah!"

It took all of Itachis considerable willpower not to hit the blond, "yes, and its shiny. She must polish it or something."

"Wait wait!" Hidan had clamped his paws over his mouth to stop the laughing, "Here he comes!"

And indeed, there was poor Kakuzu, driven forward into an obvious trap by his greed, "trap trap trap," he muttered, sneaking ever closer, "trap trap trap MUST GET SHINY THING!" With that he leaped up, landing with the precious item right between his paws, "So pretty…worth so much….must sell pretty thing…" but he never got a chance to even appraise the ring of anything other than its obvious value, for in that moment he was swept up and plopped into the basket, his lovely prize taken away, "NOOOOOO! My precious! She took my precious!" with that he broke down into sobs of, "Worth so much…" and "So much money…" and the like.

-

Smirking, Sakura tossed the ring in the air and caught it with ease, "And then there was one…"

Dropping the ring into a pocket, the girl sat back on the couch, thinking hard. Where else could Yang _possibly_ be? She had looked every where! Under the furniture, upstairs, in the kitchen…he hadn't come out for the food or the shiny trinket, so a trap wouldn't work.

Looking over at the window where he had been last, Sakura slowly got up. She had looked there, even shook out the curtains in case the black and white cat had climbed into them. No, there was nothing to do but watch as her geranium shook slightly in the wind…that was coming through the closed window…hm…

Sakura narrowed her eyes and stalked over silently. One…two…THREE! "Gottcha!" she shouted, yanking up the plant to find a bewildered Yang sitting in the dirt, "oh you're a _mess_!" the konoichi whined, plucking him out, "look at you! Ugh! We are going to get you all washed up right now!" grabbing the basket she stomped up the stairs, grumbling about weird dirty kittens.

-

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!"

"I can't! The knob broke off!"

"How could you _break_ it, you numbskull?!"

"HELP! Kisame-san! Heeeellppppbbbbbllll…"

SLOOSH!

When Sakura opened the bathroom door a tiny tilde wave came tumbling out over her feet, "EEK! What-what-what…what happened?! I only left it on a little bit!" she screamed, rushing over and grabbing the knob, how did this come off?" she shoved it back into place and turned off the water, "That is so weird…"

"I was trying to help…" Tobi said weakly, as Kisame towered over him, "I didn't mean to flood the room…"

After using a quick drying Jutsu (AN: yesh I am being lazy…you may throw something at me-.-) on the soaking floors and such, Sakura re-ran the water and tested it, "perfect! Ok guys!" she turned to them, a slightly evil look in her eyes, "its bath time!"

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Darkkinkachu: Ok, so bath time will _next_ chapter. I like writing short, quick chapters with only one focus cause that how my mind works…sorry. By the way, I forgot to mention this but there is fanart for this! Somewhere…out there…beneath the pale moon light! Er…sorry…American Tail…anywho it is out there, I just cant find it. FFnet is _intensely_ opposed to links of any kind, so the person couldn't tell me where to find it…-takes a moment to cry in the corner and rock back and forth- noooo…my first ever fan art and I cant even view it……OOOOOK! Better now. Thanks again to all who have reviewed so far! I'm hoping to break 100 reviews! Squee!

P.S. I'm not REALLY going to bite you, you silly people! I can't reach you:P


	9. Chapter 9

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: -looks up to Meeresstern1983 with shiny, stunned admiration- You can paint water colors beautifully _and_ you speak German…You are my new hero! –fangirl squeal and glompage- Any one who wants to see some incredible fanart of my humble little story should fallow the directions on Meeressterns1983 review for the last chapter. Also, the Random Kinkachu Appreciation Award goes to xcgirl08 for defending me in a board where I did something stupid and was unjustly reprimanded for it. Thanks and edible paper to all my beloved reviews! You guys have been AWESOME! WHOOP! 100 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS! -hugs all the nearest reviewers-

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Several tiny gulps echoed around the quiet bathroom as Sakura advanced on the hapless kitties, "Come on," she said, scooping them all up, "Its just a little water."

"NO! Bathing with other people is against my releigion!" Hidan squealed as the tub came ever closer.

"I'd say just bathing in general is against it." Kakuzu, who was closest to the silver kitten, said, "phew, what have you been doing? You reek!"

"At least I don't fall for traps a 5-year old could have avoided!"

"Rocks and logs may bite like dogs, but words will never hurt me!" The dark cat sang mockingly, "I may not be the smartest kit, but unlike you I don't smell like-"

Before he could finish, all seven little cats were plunged into the watery depths. Kisame, being the lagest, simply stood up, the water only a little above his furred chest. Tobi, however, mewed and floundered clawing at the water until Sakura put him on the shallow end.

"Its not so bad, yeah." Dedara said, splashing the surface with his paw, "It could be-"

"NO!"

"Don't say it!"

"Worse, yeah?"

Several groans were heard, "Why did you have to say that, you blond twit?"

Deidara opened his mouth but stopped when a shadow fell over them, "You first, ya little rascal!"

Zetsu was nabbed from the water and set on the shallow end with Tobi, "Why me?" the dark side whined, looking up at the pink haired girl.

But Sakura paid him no heed as she poured a generous glob of shampoo onto her hands and rubbed it to a lathers, "You guys are going to smell like a field of flowers when I'm done with you!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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It had taken Sakura a full ten minuets just to get Zetsu all lathered and such. He glared up at her with such malice in his yellow eyes she had almost lost her nerve. But then she remembered they were just kittens and, with a loud "SHANNARO!", she had continued her task.

If only it had been that easy…

While the Acatsuki were reluctant to bite or scratch, they still put up a mighty struggle. Even Tobi didn't want to smell like a daisy. Kakuzu was constantly trying to scale the walls of the tub, Hidan and Deidara yowled loudly, Itachi sat in a corner, eyes bright red, spitting hissed curses, and Kisame thrashed so much that half the water in the tub ended up on Sakura.

In the end, seven sopping wet kittens and one soaked Haruno Sakura stodd glaring at each other. It was quite the comical sight. Looking like angry, multi colored drowned rats, the Acatsuki simply sniffed and sneezed, trying to maintain some small scrap of dignity. Tobi's face-fur had become messed up so that now his orange swirl seemed oddly lopsided. Hidan had a kind of cow-lick on his head and Itachi was shivering with fury and cold.

"Oh stop it!" Sakura snapped, picking them up one at a time in small, warm towels, "You should be greatful! And just look what you did to me! I should throw you all to Akumaru!"

For the first time, the S-class crooks actually got a good look at their care taker. Her clothes were soaked through and clinging like a second skin to her lean frame. Again the kittens swallowed hard but this time for a completely different reason.

"I don't think she's wearing a bra…yeah…" Deidara said, mouth hanging open, "I want to be a person again…stupid Leader, yeah!"

"If you were a person, she wouldn't have given you a bath in the first place." Itachi said, always the voice of reason, "well…maybe since she's a nurse…I guess if one of us was hurt…" yes, always the voice of reson…

"Man this sucks!" Hidan whined, "When these Konoha ninja's get hurt they get sponge baths from pretty nurses!"

"And when _we_ get hurt," Kisame continued miserably, "we get Kakuzu patching us up with his icky sticky black tendrils."

"And he never uses anesthetics!" Tobi complained with a shudder, "like that time I ripped a huge hole in my side and he sewed me up with a sharp bone and some yarn!"

"Medics are expensive!" Kakuzu snapped, "And they used to use bones as needles any ways!"

"Why you cheap, stingy, sonuva-"

Ding Dong!

"Oh well this is just great," Sakura sighed, grabbing a large towel, "Shika is here and I'm all wet." She stood, wrapped the towel around her hair and walked out.

Shaking out their wet fur, the kittens eagerly fallowed.

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Darkkinkachu: Eh…I wish this were better…or at least longer. But its spring break and I have _other_ things to do –shifty eyes and wicked grin- hee hee hee…this should have about three more chapters before it ends if you were wondering so…yeah. I was thinking about a Sasori Kitten the other day and then I think some one mentioned to me and I was like 'Hm...Now I really wish I could put Sasori Danna in this..." he would be a creepy little red kitten with glassy green eyes XP I think he wouls look like a stuffed animal. As always, reviews and suggestions are welcome!

P.S. Ebil Phonix if you peck me I'll kick you're tail feathers XD


	10. Chapter 10

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: I really wish I had put Sasori in this…oh well, no use crying over spilled blood…or something like that o.0 I've been putting this off again because the jellyfish that lives in my skull (AKA my brain) has been just fraught with different ideas for different stories. It really hurts between my ears xx

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As Sakura wrapped her damp hair up in her towel, the door bell rang again, "Coming! Just a second!" She turned and glared at the soggy little cats fallowing her, "I'll deal with _you_ later."

"That was kinda scary…"

"I thought it was kinda hot."

"You make me sick."

Itachi gave Hidan and Deidara a menacing look, "Would you two just shut up already?"

Kisame gave a violent shake, sending a fine spray of water around the hall, "I need a drink. I haven't had sake in, what? Three days now? I told you we should have stopped at that pub before going back to the base."

"Bloody alcoholic," Kakuzu grumbled, "so you're the one that's been drinking all the alcohol I buy."

"If you can call that distilled water you buy 'alcohol'."

"Who's that?"

Every one stopped to fallow Tobi's pointed paw. Standing in the door way was a mildly surprised looking ninja with a distinct slouch and spiky ponytail. He was talking to Sakura with a small, amused grin playing on his lips.

"Must be that Shikamaru guy…" Zetsu mumbled, starting to walk towards them. The others fallowed, looking up at the lazy-looking Chunin.

"I didn't know you had any pets." Shikamaru said, glancing down at the approaching hoard, "You should've gotten just one. Or just bought a stuffed animal."

"Oh, they're not mine." Sakura clarified, "I'm just watching them for some extra cash. Missions have been far and few between as of late."

"Hmm, yeah." Shikamaru squatted down, holding out his hand to the nearest kitten, Itachi, "C'mere kit…here kitty."

Itachi gave him a blank, slightly annoyed look. Unfazed, Shikamaru tried the large blue cat to his left, setting his hand on the kittens head.

"Ugh, just leave me alone…" Kisame muttered, though he didn't move away. When the lazy boy began to tickle him under the chin, however, he quickly trotted over to Sakuras feet.

"You're lucky," the pink headed girl grinned, "I think you're the first person who's gotten away with touching them unmarred. This one tried to amputate Sai's leg." She bent down and lifted Zetsu into the air.

The lazy grin slide into a wicked smirk, "I bet he deserved it."

"That's not the point," Sakura said, trying not to laugh, "But yes, he did."

"I take it you just gave them a bath?" Shikamaru observed, nodding at the girls wet appearance, "Didn't any one ever tell you that cat's hate water?"

"Well…yeah…" she shifted uncomfortable under her friends amused gaze, "But I had to! They were dirty! And I have something for them! I wanted them to be clean before I put them on."

"Put what on?" Kakuzu said, more to himself than the others.

"Maybe it body spray!" Tobi chirped hopefully.

Deidara snorted, "Perfume, more likely, yeah."

"I don't really care what it is," Itachi said, starting to lick his paw, "as long as its not-"

"Kitty sweaters!"

The Acatsuki looked up in horror at the things that Sakura had just brought out of a small box.

"I don't know, Sakura," the Nara boy said, taking a hot pink on e from her hands, "I once heard animals don't like being dressed up." Neither Sakura nor Shikamaru saw the kittens nodding vigorously to that statement.

"Nonsense!" Sakura said, "Look! This one has rhinestones! And the green one has sequins!"

Hidan began praying feverously, his little paws pressed together. The others turned to run but found the door shut and nowhere to go. Slowly, very slowly, they turned around to see Sakura advancing on them.

-

"I _told_ you!" Shikamaru whined as Sakura healed the last of the scratches on his hands, "Pets don't like being dressed up!"

"But look how cute they are!" the medic squealed, looking down on seven very disgruntled little cats.

"Why me?" Itachi growled, trying to rip off his hot pink sweater, "Why? What did I do to deserve this?"

Kisame raised a furry eyebrow at his friend.

"Oh…"Itachi mumbled, looking away, "Yeah, _that_. They deserved it anyways…"

The blue kitten sighed, shaking his head and looking down at his own red sweater, _this clashes with my fur_, he thought miserable. After a second Kisame realized what he had just thought and immediately collapsed on the floor crying, "NO! I don't wanna be a fashion conscience kitten! I am a cold blooded killer! I…I eat children!"

"No you don't." Zetsu's white side said, trying to chew off the sparkly green shirt, "But I do!" Cackled his dark side.

"I wish he wouldn't do that…"

"This is itchy!" Tobi complained, desperately clawing at his thick, orange sweater, "Get it off! Help me, Zetsu-san!"

Before the duel colored kitten could reply there was another knock on the door, "I wonder who that could be..." Sakura said, standing up and walking ovee to the door.

As she opened it, seven tiny kitten gasps were heard.

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Darkkinkachu: cliiiiff Haaaaanger! Hanging from a cliiiiiiff! Ha ha I feel evil-ish now :P yeah anyways…I was looking up pictures of Kakuzu on DA and I found one of him with his hat off and he was…BALD! At first I was like 'ick…' but then I thought about this story. If I had known he was bald I would have made the Kakuzu kitten a sphinx! Then the others would have mocked his nekidness…-points and laughs at Kakuzu- U-G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi! You ugly! Ahahahahahahaha! The grammatical errors in that last sentence hurt me to type :x

Please review and if there is any one in particular that you want to see or just something you want to happen in the last few chapters, just let me know!

THANKS!


	11. Chapter 11

A-cat-suki

Darkkinkachu: Pssst…you guys wanna know a secret? –Beckons the readers closer and whispers- That cliff hanger? In the last chapter? It was a cliff hanger for me too! 8D I had no idea who it was going to be…I was just trying to find a way to end it and I was like 'BAH! Be gone! I cliff hanger joo!'

At first I thought I might make it Sir Leader with Sasori who had been skulking around in the basement so he turned him into a kitten and is leaving him with Sakura. But I'm trying to end this so I didn't want to introduce a new character. I'm so glad Kakuzu's not bald! Yay! I'm so _not_ glad that he dies and you told me…boo…ok I'll stop rambling now and get on with the story.

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An unknown and unreasonable fear flickered through the kittens. There was just something about the monster standing in the door way that made even Itachi step back in terror. The brown and white creature lifted its shaggy head and gave one loud 'Woof!' that sent the Acatsuki scattering. That was when all hell broke loose.

"Akumaru!"

"No!"

"AAAAUUGH! GET IT OFF!"

In his panic, Hidan had scaled up Shikamarus pant leg, digging needle-like kitten claws into the tender flesh of his inner thigh. Both Tobi and Deidara were running in panicked circles screaming bloody murder. Itachi had had taken refuge behind Sakuras legs and was watching the unfolding scene with wide, red eyes. Zetsu's dark side wanted to fight while his light wanted to run away so he kept darting back and forth, muttering to himself. And then there was poor Kakuzu, who had been closest at the time.

Now Akumaru was a good dog. He was well trained and almost never did anything unless Kiba told him to. But the sight of seven small, strange looking and odd smelling cats was just to much for him. When they scattered, he couldn't help leaping at the dark purple-ish one nearest to him.

Kakuzu gave a high pitched kitten scream and bolted for the closest hiding place, under the couch. When the massive canine jumped and blocked his escape, the money-loving man flipped over and did a 630, this time heading for the still open door. But before he could reach it, something large and blue came soaring down from a high shelf and landed on the dogs face.

It took almost ten minuets just to pry Kisame off Akumaru's face. It took another ten to find all the other frightened puff balls. After Sakura healed up his scratched face, Akumaru was sent outside to wait, tail between his legs.

"Um…sorry?" Kiba said sheepishly, rubbing that back of his head, "I didn't think you had any pets…"

"I don't, really." The girl said, holding a quivering Kakuzu close to her, "I'm cat-sitting."

"Ah…" the dog nin nodded and plopped down in the nearest chair, "he doesn't usually do that. I wonder what set him off?"

"When I'm human again, the first thing on my list will be to kill that animal." Hidan hissed, still shaken and sitting next to Sakura's lap. Actually all the S-class criminals and crowded around their 'cat-sitter', throwing nasty glances at the canine-like ninja across the room.

Itachi had muscled his way onto the pink haired girls lap and was now trying to smooth out his bottle-brush tail, "_If_ we're human again, you mean. Leader might just leave us here and hire new members."

"Don't jinx us, yeah!" Deidara whined, "I can't be a cat for the rest of my life! I wanted kids!"

"You can have kittens!" Tobi 'helped', "just think! Little, blond cats with mouths in their paws!"

"_You_ wanted kids?" Itachi snapped, ignoring the black and orange kitten, "What about me? Now my clan will die out because the only other Uchiha is living with a creepy, old man three times his age!"

"I wish I could've had kids…" Kisame sighed.

"Don't sharks eat their children, yeah?"

"Don't make me kill you."

"So anyways," Kiba had started speaking again so the kittens stopped to listen, "I heard about this big party you're throwing tomorrow and I was wondering-"

"Wait, what?" Sakura had stopped petting Kakuzu and looked up, "What big party?"

"Um…the one all the Rookie Nine are talking about…"Kiba looked a little uncomfortable, "Naruto said all of us were invited…"

"I didn't even invite him!" the medic growled, grinding her teeth, "I bet that little nitwit's told every one by now…"

"Is there a problem?" Shikamaru asked, one eyebrow raised, "He invited me too, but if you don't want me to come…"

"Ah! No! No, of course I want you guys to come!" Sakura laughed nervously, flapping her hands in a dismissive manner, "I just need to buy some more stuff that's all. So um…you said he told _all_ the Rookie Nine?"

"And a few other people…"

"Oh no…"

-

"I'm bored!" Tobi whined for the umpteenth time. It had been about an hour since Sakura, Shikamaru and Kiba had gone out shopping and left the kittens locked in the house.

"If you say that. One. More. Time. I'll have to hurt you." Zetsu's dark side threatened, digging his claws into the carpet.

Deidara looked up from _Konkha Cosmo_ and sighed, "We're all bored, yeah. It's no fun around here with out Sakuar-chan. Hey, did you guys know blue is the new black, yeah? It says so right here."

"You make me feel unsafe." Kisame muttered, moving away from the yellow cat, "Can't you read something other than what kind of make-up brings out your eyes?"

"Well, there's an article called 'How to please your man ten different ways', yeah…"

Kisame moved away from Deidara rather quickly, "Jeez…we have GOT to get out of here. It's messin' with our brains. Hey Itachi?"

There was no answer from the black kitten sitting a few feet away.

"Itachi? Hello?" The shark man trotted over to his partner, "You ignoring me or what?"

"I…don't feel…well…" Itachi gave a sudden, violent jerk and a wet cough.

"What's wrong with Itachi-san?" Tobi asked, concern written all over his swirled face.

"I don't know…" Kisame started to back away as the Uchiha wheezed and spat, "I think he's sick."

"Well dir-dee-dir Oh Intelligent One," Hidan mocked, coming down from the couch, "what tipped you off Dr. Doonothing?"

"Hhrrrrraaaawwwwwwwwkkk…" the rest could only watch in confusion and slight fear as Itachi hunched over, gagging on nothing and shaking, "Kaaf…kaf…HACK!"

"Oh _sick_!"

"Is that a hair-ball?"

"Now I'm gonna throw up…"

Itachi stood slowly, still a bit shaken, "gasp…gasp…that's it. I'm killing Leader, kitten or not. I'll chew his kneecaps off if I have to…"

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Darkkinkachu: Ick…I hate it when our cat does that. Any ways, I hope this chapter wasn't that bad. I'm having trouble writing again. Sorry.

Ok, so some people have been asking me if Sakura is going to end up with one of the Akatsuki in the end, especially Itachi. The answer is NO. Sorry, but that would just be weird…I am, however, considering doing one of those collection of stories fics with Sakura/Akatsuki. It would have more than just Ita/Saku, but if you guys are interested I could make that my next project.

Please tell me what you want in your review! Thank you!


	12. Chapter 12

A-cat-suki

_**IMPORTANT NOTE! READ THIS FIRST!**_

Darkkinkachu: It is with much regret (And some fear you might hurt me) that I must tell you all that this is _the last chapter of A-cat-suki_. No mas. I have three reasons for not doing the party and other things I could have put in: First of all, I'm sick of this story. I just can't take it any more. Its been fun and I've loved all the reviews but I need this to end. Secondly, I feel bad for you guys. I don't want to be the kind of author who writes for a while then doesn't post a new chapter for 8 months. Finally, I actually DID try and write more but it came out so poorly I just couldn't bring myself to subject you nice people to such crap. I'm deeply sorry and hope this chapter will make up for some of your disappointment (coughyeahrightcough)

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"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."

-Mark Twain

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At first, Sakura thought that something outside her window must have woken her up. Or maybe it was how very warm she was feeling. Or the rather heavy weight on her stomach. Whatever the reason, Haruno Sakura did _not_ want to open her eyes.

As the young medic desperately grabbed at a few more snatches of sleep, the previous nights events came pounding back: Naruto and Gaara starting a fight over weather Raman or salted tongue was better, Tenten and Shino in the closet (now THERE was an image burned in her brain), Neji in her underwear drawer, Lee 'accidentally' getting into the alcohol, and Kankuro and Kiba's drunken hitting on her, which ended in a strange kind of sissy-fight where no one won.

Sakura decided she was just going to stay in bed all day and get up in the evening. Besides, the constant rhythmic breathing of the person next to her was very soothing…hmm…wait…

Her eyes opened so fast it made her dizzy. Blinding, golden shots of light were creeping in from cracks in the blinds and her room had become oddly stuffy. Sakura closed her eyes and counted, very slowly, to ten. There was no one in her bed. That breathing sound was only a vent and the weight on her stomach was just one of the kittens. Taking one last deep breath, she cracked an eye open.

And almost screamed.

Barely an inch from her face, his arm slung over her lazily and sleeping quite peacefully, was a huge blue man with dark, gill-like markings under his eyes. Wait…blue skin, gill-marks, huge, sharkish…

_No…no no no nonononononooooo…_Sakura thought, panic and confusion vying for the top spot in her mind, _Hoshigaki Kisame is so _not_ in my bed. Sleeping. And looking oddly innocent for someone who kills for fun. And drooling…ew…_

Slowly, ever so slowly, Sakura began to inch away from the male. As she did so, the dark comforter she always kept on her bed began to slip away from him, reviling a broad, well-muscled chest with a single, pale scar running jaggedly across it.

The first thought to absently float thought her mind was 'Oooh…Me want touch…' After shaking away such embarrassing thoughts, the second thing she realized, with a hefty blush and much horror, was 'He's naked'

Sure enough, there was Hoshigaki Kisame in his big blue birthday suit. As Sakura continued her movement away, still blushing madly and looking anywhere but below the sheets, she bumped into something. Something warm and solid and definitely not the wall.

Gritting her teeth, Sakura carefully rolled over, willing this all to be a bad dream. A pair of sleepy yellow eyes met her own shocked green ones. A man, a friggin' _black AND white_ man, with messy green hair was lying on his side looking at her. Also naked…

For a moment, the two just stared at each other, neither willing to make the first move. Until Zetsu grinned, reviling rows of dazzling, sharp, white teeth…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

The results of her scream were instantaneous. Kisame made a sound between a roar and a squeal as he shot up into a sitting position. Zetsu fell backwards and onto the floor. Itachi, who had been draped over the end of the bed, was up and ready, red eyes scanning the room. Deidara whacked his head under the bed where he had been sound asleep and Hidan gave a highly girly scream of his own.

"What. The . HELL. Are you people doing in here?!" Sakura shrieked, yanking the covers away from Kisame to cover herself. She was in a large T-shirt and boxers and he was nude…Kisame was not happy about it.

"Give those back! I'm cold and naked!" He snapped, grabbing the comforter back, "Stop screaming and let me sleep woman!"

"It appears we are no longer under The Leaders Jutsu." Itachi stated calmly, looking at his hands.

"Oh, good deduction Captain Obvious." Hidan sneered. Itachi disappeared and reappeared behind the silver haired man and jabbed him in the back with two fingers. Hidan made an odd squawking sound and crumpled to a heep on the floor, cursing addimently.

"And WHY are you all naked?!" Sakura growled, face beet-red as she looked away from Itachi. Unfortanietly, Deidara had just come up from under the bed on that side so the poor (yesh, poor her -.-. cough…) girl got an eyeful, "GAAAH! How many of you are there?"

"There should be seven, yeah." Deidara said, just standing there like nothing was wrong, "Where are Tobi and Kakuzu?"

"Tobi is here, Senpai!" he said, popping up like a spring. Oddly enough, his mask was still firmly in place, "Tobi isn't a cat any more! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Sakura was mortified (But also a little grateful) to see that the young, dark-haired man was holding a stuffed bear Lee had given her over himself.

"Wait… 'cat'? You mean…you guys were…" comprehension dawned on the pink headed one. The kittens odd coloring. Their strange personalities. Even the way they seemed to understand what she was saying. It all made sense now.

"Yeah, that was us." Kakuzu said, stepping out of her closet with one of her extra blankets wrapped around his waist, "So…what are we going to do with her now?"

"Weeeeell now that she seen us…" Deidara trailed off, a wicked gleam in his aqua eye, "We can't just let her go."

"OH! Oh! Can we keep her?" The one called Tobi questioned, waving one arm in the air and almost dropping the bear.

"I am not some stray dog you can adopt!" Sakura grumbled, trying to shove Kisame off the edge of the bed where he had almost fallen asleep again.

But, because Kisame was twice her size and nearly three times her weight, all this did was wake him up and make him turn to glare at her.

"See here, Konoichi," he said, the covers falling dangerously low, "I've been subjected to horrible, horrible things over the past few days. Have you ever tasted cat food? It's not nice. Not nice at all."

"And I don't particular like smelling like a girl." Hidan growled, finally standing, a pair of Sakura's spare boxers in place.

"We didn't like being cats, yeah." Deidara said, rummaging through her dresser to find a covering.

"Tobi thought it was kind of fun…" the youngest trailed off when Itachi shot him a withering glance.

"The point is, Miss Haruno," Itachi stated, "we are humans again now and we want to get out of here. We're leaving. If you try to stop us or make any noise…Zetsu will kill you."

"What?! Why me?" the plant man whined, sitting on the bed again, "Make Hidan do it. We like her." the last part came out an odd mixture of both voices, a frightening grin crossing his face.

"HEY! Just because I kill small, furry woodland creatures and worship a god of death, doesn't mean I'm some kind of psycho killer!"

"Either we kill her or we take her with us."

"I want to take her with us." Kisame leered, wrapping his arms around Sakura and grinning, "I can think of some 'medical' stuff I need her to do for me."

"Kisame, unhand the girl."

Sakura could have laughed at the way all of the men suddenly sprang up, panic, fury, and fear mingling on their faces. There, standing in her doorway, was the shadow man who had dropped off the 'kittens'.

"YOU!" Sakura gasped, "How dare you! What were you thinking, giving me a box full of murders? I'm going to castrate you all and then-"

"That won't be necessary." The man said, holding up a hand, "We're leaving. _Without_ the girl." He added as Kakuzu started bringing out his shadow ropes to tie her up.

There was a general, unhappy grumble and a loud 'aawwwww maaaaan…' from Tobi, but all went silent when Sir Leader gave them 'The Look'.

One by one, the men filed out, various sheets and underclothes stolen from the girl covering them. Tobi was the last. As he crab-walked out, Sakura's teddy still in place, he waved cheerfully and called back, "Tobi will send this back in the mail!"

The Leader nodded and tossed another fat wallet of money at Sakura which she barley caught, "Thanks for watching them, Haruno. I have a feeling we'll meet again." He winked cheekily and was gone in a small puff of smoke.

An hour crept by and Sakura was still sitting in her bed, mouth slightly open and eyes unblinking. There was no way that just happened…finally Sakura decided it must have all been a figment of her over active and slightly intoxicated imagination. The man had come to pick up the kittens. It had not been the Akatsuki. Yeah…she would just believe that…

And the box she got in the mail two weeks later containing her favorite stuffed bear and a note with several (obscene) signatures and comments was just a coincidence…

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Koji looked up from his paper at the sound of the door closing. Kisame and Itachi had just walked in, looking tierd, battered, but definitely not unhappy, "Where the hell have you guys been?"

Itachi looked over at the blue haired member and smiled, _smiled_, before saying, "Vacation." And almost skipping back to his room.

The poor man shook so bad, the little umbrella in his hair fell out, "Oh…my…sweet…lord…what _happened_ to you guys?!"

Kisame flashed a wolfish grin, "What he said. We we're on vacation."

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The End

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Darkkinkachu: Sigh…this was rather sucky. I want to rewrite most of it but I just don't have the time. Its finals week and I've work and other stuff to do and….yeah…Sorry. Oh, and please don't hurt me for making the Unnamed Akatsuki member a male. I know everyone wants it to be a girl but (and you'll hate me for this) I'd rather it weren't. I'm not sexist or anything I just can't see the Akatsuki having a girl in their group…please don't hurt me. –hides behind Sillymail-

I'd like to thank all the wonderful reviews who have stuck by me through this story, given me encouragement and great ideas, and just been all around incredible, awesome, fantastic people! Yay for you! –hugs all the reviewers and gives them a Limited Edition Sasori Kitten Doll- He wasn't even in the story, but hey…he felt left out XD

Please review this last time and tell me what you thought! THANKS!

Oh, and be on the look out for 'Pink Clouds', a SakuraAkatsuki series I'm writing do to the MANY mumbleannoyingmumble requests for ItaSaku.

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"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life: music and cats."

-Albert Schweitzer

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